Sometimes... Feelings Die

I got mad.

I vented, a bit. Compared to many that I know of, I must say I don't vent out my anger that much by blogging. But I did... And I'm not that proud of it.

I'm dealing with the frustration quite well, and that's fair, seeing the amount of comfort *cough*JUNK*cough* food I've been consuming these past few days. There's also the music.

I reflected. Of course, I pondered upon the fact that it would not have happened if it wasn't partly my fault, whatever it was. That got me thinking if I was angry because I blamed the other party entirely. So that made me less mad because if I still stayed mad it would make me much more of a selfish person (Reasoning makes me sound like a 5-year-old; could it be that I'm taking the 'If you understand something you should be able to explain it to a 5-year-old' saying too seriously?)

I cried it out. One is allowed to release one's sadness, right? Just because I cried it out to a sole, close person doesn't make me a bitch. I may have shed tears in front of others but no names were mentioned, no clue at all. Just sorrow which was unfortunate enough to show itself after being crushed by anvil after anvil of life's difficulties. Being the frail, not-that-close-enough-to-God-to-be-patient-with-His-mysterious-ways kind of girl, I broke down. Not that much of a shocker. But I'll have you know I don't spread stories and rumors. If you feel like I have, it's probably the guilt surfacing- and that's totally understandable. Yes I am being slightly bitter, but it's still comprehensible.

And no, anger doesn't really equate to frowns and bitchings, though it may for some. I'm only stating the truth here- when you do something it doesn't mean others believe it's the right thing, even if they seek deep enough in their hearts. When you believe in something that much it's called conviction, and from The Fantasy's weird dialogue at the beginning of the song, conviction can make one impossibly hard-headed. Like I have conviction that God exists, and I can't believe anyone in their right minds would think otherwise; Nothing you say could convince me otherwise. See? Conviction.

I'm a sensitive person- I cry, and I suppose that shouldn't make me a bad person. But I don't have conviction in that, which is- literally- a crying shame.

P/S: I finished reading all the VK manga that's been released so far! Moe-ness!